The kaph כ is the 11th letter of the Hebrew Alphabet. The word means "palm" and also what might be contained in the palm of the hand. The kaph is the first of 5 double letters; the shape and meaning of the letter changes depending on whether it's placed at the beginning or end of a word. God engraves us in the palm of his hands according to Isaiah 49:16. We are told to lift up our hearts and hands to God in heaven in Lamentations 3:41. The root word for palm in both scriptures is kaphaph which means to bend. Our word in this section is kaletah, which means to be exhausted by longing.
The student has relapsed into negative thoughts. He still absolutely knows and trusts that the Teacher and His Word have all the answers, but he's worn himself out with worry. The classroom bully has intensified his efforts to ruin the student, and the psalmist just wants some help! He can feel himself slipping under the weight of peer pressure, but he's still holding on for dear life to the stubborn, unwavering love of the Teacher.
I feel the back and forth of this section to my core. I have had these same conversations with myself--"I'm so exhausted but I know God is carrying me." "Everyone is mean but I know God isn't." "I don't think I can hold on, but I know God's love is the knot at the end of the rope." The me/You conversation he's having with God is human nature. It's when we get caught in the "but I...but me...but mine..." and never remember the "But God" that we find ourselves in deep trouble!!!! We can choose to lift our palms in frustration 🤷 and we can choose to lift our palms in praise 🙌. Sometimes both in one thought. The steadfast love of God is not swayed by our doubt and questions. But we are. Let's train ourselves to end every frustration with praise.
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