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We learned about Paul's laments twice--Week 2 Day 5 "Never Been Unloved", and Week 3 Day 5 "Words Can't Say What Love Can Do". As we reread the scriptures today, I'm sure you were reminded that one is an individual lament and one is a communal lament. Paul was not ashamed of laying out every emotion--fear, joy, sadness, gladness, regret, contentedness. He knew they were all safe in the hands of Jesus! In what would be his final letter, Paul writes to Timothy, his dearly loved son (2 Timothy 1:2). He charges him to remember all he has taught him and all he has learned along the way. The things we said today In verse 6, Paul is still singing a sad song. Everyone has deserted him; he is alone and ready to die. But he has fought the good fight, he has finished the race, he has kept the faith. He spent many years lamenting, crying out to God with a list. The dissonance (a musical term meaning an unresolved discordant chord) Paul felt over his seeming inability to choose what he SHOULD do has resolved as he rests in the faithfulness of Jesus to resolve his lament. He has praise all ready on his lips as he looks to the finish line.
On week 3 day 5, we learned that, although he is known as the apostle to the Gentiles, Paul lamented so much for his fellow Hebrews that he was willing to forfeit his spot in the kingdom of God if only they would accept Jesus as their Messiah. In 2 Timothy 4:8, Paul is thankful for the crown of righteousness waiting for him in heaven, and also for all those who have loved the appearing of Christ. Paul has built a household of faith with many "children" like Timothy--not his natural born child, but one he considers as his own. At his first court date, he stood alone, deserted. But he prays that it not be counted against them. Until the end, he is a true missionary--his life's work for them.
We don't know for sure how Paul died. Eusebius, an early church historian, wrote that Paul was beheaded for his faith by the Emperor Nero, which would fit the timeline laid out in 2nd Timothy. But we do know that the Lord stood with Paul and strengthened him, so he could fully preach the word until the end. He knew that God would resolve his lament, bringing every minor key to a major key conclusion. He told Timothy "The Lord will rescue me from every evil work and will bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To Him be the glory forever and ever! Amen." When God resolves your story, sad as it may be, it is a success. May this be said of our story. 💖
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